English is a Queer Language

This poem was posted by my friend Mira on facebook. Then I was told by Beth that our teacher FeMat taught this poem to us when we were in first year high school ... pero di ko na matandaan, absent yata ako noon :).

I like this poem so I thought about posting it here.

IS A QUEER LANGUAGE
 

 

Unknown author

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes ,
But the plural of ox is oxen , not "oxes"
Then one fowl is a goose and two are geese ,
Yet the plural of moose would never be "meese,"
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice ,
But the plural of house is houses , not "hice."
If the plural of man is always men ,
Why shouldn‘t the plural of pan be "pen"?

Cow in the plural may be cows or kine .
But the plural of vow is vows , not "vine."
I speak of a foot and you show me your feet .
I give you a boot ; would you call a pair "beet"?

If the singular is tooth and the plural teeth ,
Why shouldn‘t the plural of booth be "beeth"?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these ,
Should the plural of kiss rightly be "keese"?

Then, with ONE you use that and with THREE, those ,
Yet the plural of hat is never called "hose."
We speak of a brother and also of brethren ;
But though we say mother , we never say "methren."

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him ,
But imagine the feminine as she , "shis," and "shim."
So English, I think -- and you must agree —
Is a language as queer as any you‘ll see.